Blessings and Peace

Anger is probably a good topic to write about when you are seething in outrage as I am. We'll get to the blessings later since that's probably a phase I haven't completely entered yet. I received an email from someone I had interviewed with last week. She completely misrepresented the facts of the interview.  She even had the gall to list questions that she didn't make during the interview and state that I had answered inadequately to these imaginary questions.

It's been already a few days since the email but while my anger has abated I still feel enough of it that I know that I should refrain from writing back to set the record straight.  I read once that you should always use the "You Dumb Ass" rule when writing back to someone that has made you angry.  If the phrase "You Dumb Ass" fits well at the end of the email you should not send it.  Since I can still come up with even more appropriate and colorful adjectives than dumb ass, I figured I'm not ready to respond yet.

Refraining from communicating with anger in verbal or written form is the only way to communicate whether it's in a personal or professional context.  When communicating verbally, anger just stirs the fire even more and the recipient of the anger usually reacts with a similar tone and the issues escalate because both parties end up trying to outdo the other in the quality and strength of the insults.  That sets the relationship back instead of forward because words have power and they are not easily forgotten.  When communicating in writing, it is slightly less explosive because it cannot get physical but it is just as damaging to the relationship because the words are permanent.  When hearing something that is insulting one may choose to forget some of the content but it is impossible to forget the words when the email may be read again and again ad infinitum.

Regardless of the issue, responding in anger hinders your ability to effectively communicate what you want.  In my case, I am taking as much time as I need to deal with the issue in a better way for me.  I'm not even thinking of what the best way for the offender is, I will first think through what is the best approach for me.  My intent is to objectively focus on the facts and not call her the many names that come to mind as I write this post!

I am now entering the phase of how blessed I am to not having to even come close to working with or for this woman.  Focusing on being grateful for seeing this woman clearly is more valuable and helpful than focusing on the lies that she concocted about me.

Peace.