Monday, January 24, 2011

Uncertainty and Fear

Whenever I feel even slight fear of the future it is because I don't know what's coming in the next few months.  I lose sight of living in the present and negative thoughts take over.  I also stop believing in myself and in my ability to conquer all.  This happens to most of us and in these challenging times, some us may have lost financial security temporarily or our personal relationships are not working out or we are confronting something that shakes our sense of well-being and security.

There are a few strategies I am following to maintain optimism and belief in myself in light of these challenging times (listed in no specific order of importance):

1.  Consistent yoga practice.  I do the kriyas  (postures), chant and listen to mantras as well as meditate every morning.  I have been doing meditations for 45 minutes every day for years now.  The experience of this practice has expanded my awareness of myself and my world (I am including the 3-minute meditation I do to deal with fear at the bottom of this post).  Yoga and/or whatever spiritual beliefs one holds, is helpful.

2.  Believe what helps me.  While I rigorously read the news (paper and on-line), I don't necessarily believe everything I read.  There is too much gloom and doom in many of the business and economic news that I choose not to believe.  Also, I only believe comments from well-meaning friends or family that resonate with who I am.  Maintaining integrity of who I am is fundamental to me so I use my personal sieve to separate what I choose to listen to and what I must discard.

3.  Living in the present.  I make plans for today and I'm proactive not because I can control anything (I can't) but because the focus is on the immediate and it's productive.  I feel a sense of accomplishment because I can get things done today and see the results whether it's because I applied for 5 job postings today and spoke to three people or whatever metrics represent results to me.  All the mundane, time-sensitive aspects of life must still be focused on even while living in the present.

4.  When I screw up, I forgive myself.  I focus on learning from it and doing better but I try not to beat myself up over anything.  Learning about myself is the gift.

5.  Go with the flow of life.  Somehow life has its own rhythm and timing for everything.  When I recognize what that flow is, it makes my life much easier because I am not resisting something or persisting towards something which may be the wrong thing for me.

6.  Switch perspective.  Sometimes I realize my thoughts are not leading me to the right path, I'm not making any progress and I feel stuck.  So I work at cranking an imaginary mental switch in a different direction so that I can take a new look at the same issue and get to a different answer.

7.  Care about myself.  This is in every regard.  Whether it is working out, eating well, expecting respect from others and expressing myself in a positive way when that is not happening, establishing relationship boundaries, etc.

8.  Care about others.  Focus on being kind to others whenever possible which includes those close to me or even just smiling to a complete stranger.  It makes life cozier and warmer for everybody.

9.  Be grateful.  I have so much to be grateful for and focus on that as much as possible so that I don't get caught up in feeling sorry for myself when things are not working out.  This is a tough one.

I change every day - as I evolve this list may be refined and expanded.  Today, this is my list.  I am still working on mastering some items on the list :).

——

For Fear

Sit in easy pose (legs crossed) and grasp the Sun (ring) finger of the left hand with all the fingers of the right hand.  The thumb of the left hand goes under the right hand.
Chant repeatedly:   Ra Ma Da Sa Sa Se So Hung
 (3 Minutes uninterrupted for 40 days to see the difference, you may continue for months or years)




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