Possibilities

There is nothing better than remembering that possibilities abound even when both the day outside and your heart are grey.

Something that I don't seem to be able to deal effectively with is deception.  Being betrayed and lied about is very tough for me.  First, while I am not a saint and commit my share of errors, the willful behavior to put one's needs above others is so anathema to who I am that it's very hard behavior to process.  Second, people doing everything - including hurting others - to achieve their ends is something that falls in the category of abhorrent behavior to me.  There are many figures in history that have been only focused on their ambitions and caused significant amount of damage around them. Those figures still exist today because I don’t believe that human nature has evolved.  Maybe technology has changed the world around us but we are the same people we were hundredths of years ago, with the same weaknesses and foibles.  The great news is that people that pursue noble goals and ideals also exist today. Thus, the tug of war between good and evil continues.

In a world where Bernie Madoff states he is a  “good person” it’s hard to understand who set the standards he adheres to that make him believe he is a “good person”. What’s a good person anyway, how does one define that? The scariest part is that people like Madoff – who has hurt many people - don't care or are even aware of the damage they cause.  I sustain that these people are eventually found out because they have a pattern of thinking that leads to unethical behavior that is repeated again and again.  It is my hope that sooner or later these people are stopped completely from causing harm to others.

I am usually not judgmental but I am judgmental about unethical behavior that hurts people. I am not judgmental about how people live, what people believe in, what decisions they make...but I definitely judge those that actually don't think twice about inflicting pain on others.  It's beyond comprehension to me to justify or explain hurting others to achieve one’s ends. Whether the behavior stems from a troubled childhood, insecurities, personality disorders, etc., there is no possible justification for hurting others consciously. It's not a subject I want to delve into to much because it's dark and I would rather stay close to the light.

I have been dealing with a company that I admire in the past few days.  Someone there treated me unfairly and I am in the phase of documenting what happened to send to the company’s senior management.  I also thought of not doing anything - an action in itself - but that would have been even more painful for me.  It hurt my soul and my soul needs to speak the truth.  Also, I have a responsibility to the rest of the trusting people like myself who may be treated in the same unethical way unless I shine light on it.

The reason it would be painful for me not to speak up is because I care more about my integrity than anything else.  Not saying anything would certainly be cowardly as well as disrespectful to who I am.  Then I have to live with that shame.  That’s something I am not willing to do at all.

The situation is unpleasant, and ugly.  I can’t wait till I can put this behind me and move on.  I will have to meditate on what constructive lesson I learn from this, somehow the universe keeps reminding me that evil exists.  It’s possible that a key lesson to remember is what Shakespeare said:  “Love All, Trust Few, Do Wrong to None” with emphasis on “Trust Few”.   How to “Love All” is a big challenge when these kind of situations are caused by someone.  I still struggle with that one.

I started writing this post yesterday and it was very cloudy outside…today the sun is shining brightly once again.  The reflection of its golden rays makes the buildings and the river shimmer with light which is why I posted a picture that represents that.  

I'm moving on towards the light…I’m grateful I’m getting closer and closer to it.