I never know quite what to say or write about courage but I will give it a try. By nature I am courageous and bold so it's difficult for me to step out of myself and define myself or a particular act of mine as courageous.
To me courage is about following my heart and being true to who I am. It is also about following wherever my imagination takes me. I was inspired years ago by a passage in a book by Carlos Castañeda about only following the path that has heart to be "one" with it - I have included it below this post because it's beyond brilliant and beautiful. It resonates strongly with who I am. Castañeda's philosophy in that regard seemed to make perfect sense to me then and still does today. To follow the path that has heart has its costs. It is not generally acceptable or understood to live by your principles and your beliefs and to have integrity first with who you are. At least that is what I have discovered along the way. It usually helps when you know what those principles are and what you want to uphold in your life ahead of making major life decisions.
I recently resigned from a senior position in a large company because I felt that was the only possible option for me. By resigning, I lost a fantastic job in the sense that it had a lot of responsibility and the potential for making an important impact on society and I had a great team reporting to me. The nature of the work that I do is fascinating to me because it is all about creating something new from nothing. Staying in this company would have meant that I could live with less than principled behavior from my boss and others. Therefore, I felt I had no choice but to resign because I couldn't live with that. But where there are costs there are gains. The prize I received is how I feel about it. I am extremely happy not to be there anymore. Extremely happy. That is a prize I can celebrate on a daily basis.
As a result, I am know looking for a job and everything in my life is uncertain. Sometimes it's not that comfortable although I haven't been afraid (see my earlier post in January on Uncertainty and Fear for the meditation I do every day that actually works!). I should add I thrive in ambiguity. I chose not to have a scripted life in any regard and the type of work I love to do involves exploration and discovery. I never felt I fit anywhere and I probably don't fit exactly anywhere; therefore, I fit everywhere. I love paradoxes.
One job I always wanted to have was to be part of an elite corps (the organization is irrelevant as long as it embodies the right principles) fighting for the downtrodden or those that are in trouble. Whether it's about rescuing people or finding people that are missing or fighting for those that can't fight for themselves, that is something that is incredibly motivating to me. I am thinking I was probably a warrior in another lifetime.
My ideal job assumes some clarity on good versus evil which is not always so crystal clear. It also has to require a high degree of intelligence and creativity for it to be truly exciting. Only problem I have about most jobs where those characteristics exist is that they typically involve weapons - the sword in the image in my post is meant to be figurative. I have somehow found aspects of my ideal job in most of the jobs I held in the past few years and I'm confident I will find that again.
Courage. Still don't think I have fully defined it. Hopefully, I have defined what it means for me today. I hope my definition of courage - and of all things in my life - will continue to evolve as I learn more and more.
Excerpt from The Teachings of Don Juan by Carlos Castañeda:
Anything is one of a million paths. Therefore you must always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if you feel you should not follow it, you must not stay with it under any conditions. To have such clarity you must lead a disciplined life. Only then will you know that any path is only a path and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you to do. But your decision to keep on the path or to leave it must be free of fear or ambition. I warn you. Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary.
This question is one that only a very old man asks. Does this path have a heart? All paths are the same: they lead nowhere. They are paths going through the bush, or into the bush. In my own life I could say I have traversed long long paths, but I am not anywhere. Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't, it is of no use. Both paths lead nowhere; but one has a heart, the other doesn't. One makes for a joyful journey; as long as you follow it, you are one with it. The other will make you curse your life. One makes you strong; the other weakens you.
Before you embark on any path ask the question: Does this path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will know it, and then you must choose another path. The trouble is nobody asks the question; and when a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him. At that point very few men can stop to deliberate, and leave the path. A path without a heart is never enjoyable. You have to work hard even to take it. On the other hand, a path with heart is easy; it does not make you work at liking it.
** End of Excerpt **
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