Time

Salvador Dali, Exploding Clock

I am very conscious of time.  I like to take advantage of every waking hour.  I love to sleep too but I find there is never enough time during the day to do everything I want to do.

It's not only about doing things.  I am usually very focused on learning and thinking about what I am learning.  Having the time to just ponder about whatever the day's experiences trigger or about something I have read - that is a luxury.

The type of work I love to do requires time to let the imagination roam.  I  also need time to process messages I get by being inspired by something or maybe messages I am getting from my guardians and spiritual guides.   This is because my work is about options, it's about conceptualizing a strategic option given a certain set of circumstances or even in the absence of any specific circumstances.  It's very exciting to envision the future and it is extremely rewarding to actually see it come to fruition.

Another aspect about time is more spiritual.  I have heard that in the spiritual realm time is an illusion which is congruent with Einstein's theories. The spiritual context of time that I understand has to do with our individual timing for everything.  It's not about getting married by 25, having kids by 30 and retiring at 55-60.  I live completely outside of that construct.  In my world, it's about where my heart and my soul are taking me.  That's the clock I am mostly aware of and that guides me.

I am aware of Einstein's theory of relativity.  I will not get into the differences between special relativity or general relativity or even discuss relativity itself.  When one of Einstein's best friends died, Einstein wrote to his family: "...for us physicists believe the separation between past, present, and future is only an illusion, although a convincing one."  Einstein also said, "“Time has no independent existence apart from the order of events by which we measure it.”

Today I realized I didn't contact a friend on time to make proper plans for tonight and in the end our schedules didn't mesh and we will not be able to meet.  We could have possibly met had I written with my schedule as I said I would do.   Maybe I already knew a few days ago we wouldn't meet.  Complicated?  Yes, only because I want to take it to that next level.  I propose that we already know ahead of "time" what will happen since there is no difference between past, present, and future.

This raises a lot of questions. While I try to live in the present and that is a statement of "time" what I really mean is that I try to live and make decisions with the information that I have while I am consciously thinking about it.  Clearly, I could have the intuition of what in fact will happen and listen to that (since there is no separation with the future) as well.

From a spiritual time, everything is happening as it should and when it should happen.  So letting things go to a great extent wherever possible allows us to flow with whatever is supposed to happen.  As millions of people are, I am interested in will versus destiny and I believe our lives are a combination of both.  Usually when I force my will into a situation things don't go smoothly and sometimes don't go well at all.  When I let things flow - while still setting the intention of what I want to achieve - things either work out as I envisioned or don't work out at all.  When it doesn't work out, I am grateful because to me that is a sign it wouldn't have been good for me at all.

Did I say it was complicated?  

Winning

I am being guided every day although I'm not always conscious about it.  Whether it is expressed in a physical way  (see my post on The Ring) or whether it's a thought, I make an effort to pay attention to what is going on inside of me and around me.

I believe we all have spirit guides or guardian angels or whatever we may want to call them. They are always around us to help.  I usually start the day asking for help.  Yesterday I was asking for help in keeping positive.  Why think the worst about a given situation when you can imagine the best?  It takes a lot of discipline but it may be accomplished.  That's how athletes get to the finish line, they are not thinking "I won't make it, I won't make it because it's raining today or I won't make it because I didn't wear my lucky hat", they are thinking and envisioning how they will get to the finish line.  How to get there first. There is no other option.

That's where the race to win begins in life.  With our thoughts.  They must be focused. They must be positive.  They must be big.  We hold greatness within us, we must only think of big possibilities for ourselves.  Finishing first is possible for all of us.  And, it's not about thinking that finishing first is about beating everyone else.  It's more about finishing first against all the imaginary obstacles we use as excuses not to get to what we want to achieve.  It is a race against ourselves and where we choose to  give our all to the the aspect within us that knows there are no limitations.  We have the power.  If we believe it we can do it.  There is nothing we can't do if we really want it.

It requires a lot of discipline.  Most of all, it requires having laser-like focus and knowing we will get there.

Good and Evil

In the last two weeks, I have noticed I am changing the way I used to think about good and evil.  I used to believe there are actually evil people and good people out there. That it was just a matter of degree as to who was either totally evil or a very good person.   Lately, I have been thinking that no such polarity exists as we are all part of the whole.

What comes to mind is what the Dalai Lama said (please see my post on Freedom on February 3rd) about how we need to separate the action from the actor.  My evolving view is that someone can do something evil for any number of reasons but that doesn't make that person evil.  Making the statement that someone is evil or good is more of a judgment than anything else.  It's a judgment without having all the facts.  The reason why someone engages in evil acts is usually a way of striking back at something - whether the person was abused as a child, whether the person is so insecure that attacking first is a way to gain a sense of security, or whether fear is the most prevalent emotion and attacking is a way to sublimate those fears, etc., etc.  There is also mental illness involved in many of these situations.  I'm not trying to justify evil actions.  They are deplorable.  People that hurt other people must be made accountable for those actions.

There are various expressions of good and evil in our society and I'll explore a few of these in this post.  A distinction of  good and evil gets murky when people that seem to be perfectly sane commit evil acts in the name of the ideologies they support.   I'm not sure that the person that kills or tortures people in the name of democracy is any different from the person that kills or tortures people in the name of an authoritarian regime.  What's the difference?  The fight for a any "noble" or "ignoble" cause that uses methods that destroy others' lives at any level in the name of that cause is the same to me.  The only difference is the banner under which the fight takes place.  Which is why I always admired the organization Amnesty International.  No matter the regime, they advocate for human rights, period.  Human rights that exist no matter which political party is in power or is trying to get that power.  That makes total sense to me.

In business, the subject of good and evil is also complicated.  I was appalled to discover that there are no business ethics that are generally agreed to in the business community but rather each company creates their own ethical construct.  Laws don't cover all rules of behavior that should exist in an office - at least not in the United States.  It is up to senior management in every company to create a code of ethics and to uphold it.

Yes, in the U.S. there are laws that in some way protect employees with the most blatant violations of human rights but there are repercussions when laws are broken and one sues one's company.  One of these is that one's reputation may be impacted negatively.  When one sues, this becomes part of a record that may be accessed by any prospective employer.  By the way, one would practically need to be found gagged and tortured in a closet in your boss' office by a policeman to be able to sue one's employer and win.  Only other chance of winning would be to have unlimited financial resources equal to those the company has in place to go all the way with a case that has merit and there is some evidence.

There are companies that believe that treating their employees well and creating a positive environment where ethical behavior is expected is the norm.  I have been very lucky to have worked in one of those companies.  It doesn't mean that psychotic or insecure people weren't still causing havoc but it was limited havoc as sooner or later these people are discovered because they repeat this behavior again and again.  Like the Scorpion and the Frog in one of Aesop's Fables, it's their irrepressible nature and it comes through again and again.  They can't help but to act a certain way.

A company is a microcosm of the world around us so there are as many kinds of people in a large company as there are in a town:  inspiring leaders, drug addicts, alcoholics, family oriented people, liars, paranoid schizophrenics,  balanced,  psychotic, admirable professionals, etc.  It's all a matter of degrees.  Sometimes people reserve lying to covering their tracks, or lying about someone that may be a threat in some way.  I am finding more and more that there is a more of an overt "dog-eat-dog" environment in most companies, where backstabbing, lying and trying to gain ground professionally in any way possible is standard behavior.

What I have been thinking lately is that what makes someone act in a good way versus evil way has to do with his or her soul.  The more advanced souls "know" how to behave and they have intrinsic values they live by versus younger souls that are finding their way.  In the process, these younger souls will live lifetimes of learning how to "know" how to behave.

As Mark Twain said:
"Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes."

I am not necessarily contradicting myself but I am rethinking some things I used to believe in. I will continue to evolve my thinking about this topic.  I do contain multitudes.  I am also exposed to a world that challenges and changes me on a daily basis.  That's very exciting. On the subject of good and evil, this is where I am today.   

Elevating the Spirit

I learned early on in one of my yoga classes a few years ago how important each individual is in elevating others' spirits.   What elevate means in this context is to help people see beyond what is limiting them and making them feel hopeless.  It's about saying something to help them change their perspective to one where possibilities abound so that they can start moving forward with confidence and strength.   It's not easy.

This is beyond the concept of being our brother's keeper.  I don't believe in that per se.  I believe though that when the opportunity arises for us to help someone in trouble, we must give our best.  That's exactly what it is, it's an opportunity we are being given to be generous and give something of value to others.  I'm not talking about giving a dollar to someone that is begging for money but rather to give of yourself, to talk to whoever it is about your experiences and relate to this person even though the issues may be very difficult to relate to and understand.

At a spiritual level, there are no accidental encounters.  Everyone we meet is for a reason. It's an opportunity for us to show up for who we are - at our very best and at our kindest.  It may seem time consuming and it is very time consuming.  We are all very busy, trying to keep up with the accelerated speed in the world's energy but one kind word with a positive message can change someone's outlook in life.  It can get them started in a new path.  We can make a difference.  What's more important?  Get to our "to do" list or participate in changing someone's view of themselves?

I have a lot of faults.  I am aware of some of them.  When it comes to helping others, I'm mostly clear.  It's easier to help people that look like us, live like us and are like us...it's so much harder to help people that we don't recognize as part of our tribe for one reason or another.

I'm not talking about differences in race or social strata - I'm talking about the situations that other people find themselves in that we have never encountered ourselves and are totally unfamiliar to us.  For example, how to help someone with an addiction when you have never been exposed to that - what are the right tools, what are the right words?  How do you deal with what seems to be truly hopeless, where the situation is dire, where it's so dark you know it's not a world you recognize?  As I said in my post Light on March 18th, even the flame of a matchstick can bring light to total darkness.   And maybe the words don't make a dent today but somehow you are able to start changing the energy by just articulating those words.  Positive words, empowering words.

I suspect issues that are unfamiliar and seem so mammoth are to be treated in the same way as one would treat any other issue. With kindness and love and with genuine intent to help the other person.  With addiction I would add that getting advice from an expert would also help.   Addiction is a disease, it falls under a different category than when you are dealing with someone that is not thinking about the next fix or the next drink.  It's important to remember that for any issue, the responsibility to take action begins and ends with the person involved.  As helpful as we want to be, we can't change someone's thought pattern and actions unless the person decides to do that.

We are all together here.  We are one and part of the whole at the same time.  And, we do make a difference.  

The Ring

I remember admiring one of my grandmother's rings when I was a little girl.  She would always wear it along with a couple of other rings but this one was special to me.  I thought it was the most beautiful ring in the world even if it was not the most expensive ring she owned.  I never asked the provenance of the ring, I don't know who gave it to my grandmother or when that took place.

The ring was very delicate and feminine.  I don't even know what it's was made of but it looked like platinum, with an intricate lace design on an hexagonal setting and in the middle of it, there was a very small diamond.  When my grandmother died, my mother started wearing it frequently.  I used to love it so much that my mother gave it to me as a present one day.

I was wearing it when I traveled from California to New York to visit a friend of mine a couple of years ago.  I was staying at her place for two weeks while my friend was in Mexico with her boyfriend.  The night of my arrival we went out for dinner to a Thai restaurant in the neighborhood.  When we returned, I went to the guest bedroom and realized I didn't know where my ring was.  I started looking for it then but decided after a little while that I would look for it during the day.  The next morning, once my friend left for the airport,  I unpacked my suitcase. I thought maybe my ring had fallen in the suitcase as I was taking out a sweater upon arrival the previous night.  However, even though I removed every single item in the suitcase, and turned the suitcase upside down a couple of times, I didn't find it.  I then moved every piece of furniture in the guest bedroom and in the living room and still I couldn't find it.  I looked in every possible nook and cranny in the apartment.  Nothing.

I then retraced the steps we had taken to the Thai restaurant the previous night.  I entered the restaurant and asked whether anyone had found a ring.  No one had found it.  At this point I was feeling desperate and sad.  I looked for the ring on the street in case it had fallen from my hand as it was slightly big on me but nothing, no ring to be found.  I returned to the apartment and looked for it again and again during the two weeks that I was there.  I cried a couple of times but I didn't find it.

I wasn't reconciled about losing the ring and I was upset at myself for being careless.  I kept telling myself it's only a material object, it doesn't embody my grandmother or my mother who are always with me.  I returned to California and, by this time, I was more at peace with the fact that I had lost the most valuable piece of jewelry I ever had.

Three weeks later I was traveling from California to a yoga retreat in Assisi, Italy.  I was very excited about this trip because I would arrive in Rome - a city I am in love with - and then take a train to Assisi.  I had packed less clothes than I took to New York so my suitcase was a little lighter which made it easier to take on the train from the airport to Rome and then from a Rome train station to Assisi.

Once I arrived at the Assisi train station I took a taxi to the hotel, I took my suitcase to the room to change clothes.  I was very happy to be there.  I laid the suitcase down on the floor to open the suitcase and start unpacking it and as I laid it down, I heard a sound: "clink".  The moment I heard that sound I knew it was the ring.  I knelt on the floor to see where it had fallen.  Somehow the ring that I lost in New York appeared from thin air and it was right there on the floor.   Half of me couldn't believe it but since I had known that the "clink" sound was my ring hitting the floor, I was not entirely surprised.

Only logical conclusion I could come up with was that my mother wanted me to have my ring back.  I also took it as a sign that she approved of this retreat.  There was absolutely no other explanation for the appearance of the ring thousands of miles away from where I had lost it originally.  The suitcase was locked so it's not like it finally dislodged itself from a secret compartment inside the suitcase.  This was a suitcase that had been to many places since that night in New York, several taxis, two different apartments, two different trains, up and down the stairs, etc.  I knew it was something that I couldn't explain in any other way than to accept something magical had happened.

The ring connects me immediately to those moments I spent together with my grandmother and my mother as I was holding their hands.   Whenever I held their hands, I would always say something about this ring.  It means a lot to me.  My mother knew that and that is why she returned it to me in Italy.  I only wear this ring for special occasions now, mainly when I have an event and I want to feel my mother is with me by just looking at the ring.

I know is a perfectly plausible explanation for what happened.  Spirits are known to move objects.  I have no doubt that this is what happened here.  I am deeply grateful to have it back.

Transformation

Artwork by Salvador Dali

Whether it's because Uranus is in Aries after several years and when that happened the earthquake and tsunami hit Japan, or whether on the day of a rare full moon Libya was attacked, much is shifting inside and around us.   Multiple scientific reports state that the axis of the earth shifted by almost 7 inches as a result of what happened in Japan so the rotation of the earth has been affected as well as Japan's physical position.

On the other hand, astrologers are mostly saying that there is a major shift going on in the world starting with Uranus being in Aries for the next seven years which is either causing devastation in the form of natural disasters or in the form of wars between countries and between individuals.  From an individual standpoint, these astrologers are saying there is another side to it and that is the side of being the light that the world needs in times of turmoil and darkness.

There are a lot of doom and gloom predictions going around.  These should be ignored completely as they only raise unnecessary fear among people. Yes, the Mayan calendar ended in 2012 but there may be other reasons for that than the world is coming to the end at the end of next year.  Deep inside of me, I know the world will not end in 2012.  What I do believe is that aside from the geophysical reality of the earth shifting as a result of the earthquake, we are shifting inside as well.

To me, it's more of the awakening of greatness in people and in the world around us - as a state of being instead of being occasional.   However, all transformations are difficult and challenging.  They require shedding and letting go of what we used to hold dear and of value even if they had no value at all.  It's a similar to being in the cocoon, feeling very protected and cozy in a temporary reality and then growing and evolving until that cocoon doesn't serve us any more and we need to emerge from it.  In that case, the value of the cocoon was in creating the reason for change.

It's worth thinking that our collective consciousness created what is happening in front of us only in the context of what we could be doing differently.  I am part of society but rather than think in a negative way about what I helped create, I prefer to focus on how we can transform ourselves even more and how we can create a world around us that is in tune with who we are.  We are beings that are full of love and of noble ideals that sometimes get forgotten as some of the collective values are all about money and power.  That is what fear and insecurities breed, the need to feel secure through having more and more money and control over others.

If we think of power as power inside of us and it being transformational not only for ourselves but also to change the world in front of us, we will have access to infinite power.  I am thinking about that quite a bit these days because the times are compelling me to do so.  I definitely know I have limitless power, now I am thinking how to channel this power for the good of others. I don't know the answer to that yet but maybe it begins by reminding people how powerful each one of us is.  And to come from a place of love no matter the circumstances.  That is truly transformative.  

Love

It's all about love 

Only about love 

Always about love  

In doubt, love...open your heart and love  

In fear, love...you will know who you are 

In anger...love even more

In love...keep on loving

And, as you love, love yourself first

Flow of the Earth

Scuplture:  La Mano en la Arena (The Hand in the Sand), by Mario Irrazabal, Playa Brava, Punta del Este, Uruguay

Yesterday I went to a workshop led by one of my spiritual teachers.  He is a very powerful healer.  The workshop was an intensive class to strengthen the perceptive intuitive mind.  I make it a point to see him when he is in New York because the experience is out of this world.  Literally.

First, he is able to feel the energy in the room collectively as well as individually.  Then he selects specific meditations for the group to achieve a certain level of consciousness so that we can be clear and aware.  He also suggests individual meditations to focus on certain issues that a given person may have.

He talked about many profound subjects and, among the most important to me, was how critical it was for us to be conscious of the earth especially as we process what happened in Japan. He said it was key not to separate from the earth because of the devastation and tragedy that it caused but rather to be close to it and feel it more than ever.  To consciously be aware of the wind as it caresses our cheeks, to feel the gravity of our bodies being pulled towards the earth, to feel the ground under our feet, etc.

In my post on Rebirth on March 17th, I talked about nature and being able to observe nature in New York.  It's still good to be close to nature and observe it but what is most helpful is to actually have the experience of nature. What I am doing now is I am imagining touching a tree or feeling the sand between my fingers when I meditate to feel closer to the earth.  I am also touching my plants as a I feed them and when I go out later today, will make sure I spend a few seconds touching the trunk of a tree, its branches, etc.

He said he felt collective fear in the people he met during his trip to California last week and that in New York he sensed that we weren't connecting to the earth as a group.

Then he asked when we thought people started to believe in God.  I replied that it happened when people started thanking for the wonderful things happening in their lives or something to that effect.  I probably don't remember because I didn't fully believe it.  He said that that was a comment that separated me from God as God is within us.  Inside of us, not outside of each one of us.  I believe in that.   My answer was more in line with the religion that I grew up with where you go to a Church to be with God - which shows how strong belief systems are.  But he reminded me of what I know is true.  In the part of me that transcends time and space, I know that God is within me.  God is not in front of me, he is in me.  That is incredibly powerful.

He also gave us a meditation not to separate from who we are and recognize ourselves. Whenever we feel stress we are not as present as we could be.  We tend to escape from our realities any way we can whether we are conscious or not.  Being clear and aware requires that we are present.  We can then be conscious for ourselves and for others.

Light

Only path I am taking now is being in the light and reflecting as much light as I can hold...that's my commitment to myself.  Focusing on fear would only extinguish that light so it's not an option.  


I am reminded of one of my most favorite quotes by Edith Wharton:  
“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.”


One single candle flame or even the light from a matchstick creates light no matter how much darkness there is.  And since we create the world around us with our thoughts, hearts, and spirits, I am working  on focusing just on the light.   That is the way I know I can be strong for myself and for others and that is how the tidal wave of change for the good happens in our world.  I have changed from within to change what's outside of me.  There is nothing as powerful as that thought. No matter the outcome, my perception of my world will automatically adjust to how I think of it.  That's the golden nugget. 


It's not easy.  What's easy is to fall prey to insecurities, to fear, to uncertainty.  Having a choice, focusing on the light seems like a much easier path.  I can certainly derive a lot more pleasure from it.  That's usually where I reside - in the light - but lately it's been hard to keep the course, keep the faith.  I'm back!  


I am sending all my love to those in pain and in fear so that they can feel hope and know that this too shall pass and that there is hope and light in the midst of all that darkness.  And, most of all, that they can get through it all and still anticipate wonderful and miraculous things in life.  

Rebirth

Despite the havoc that nature constantly creates around us in the form of earthquakes, tsunamis, tornadoes, hurricanes, etc., being close to nature is also very healing.  Whether it's feeling the sand and ocean tide between my toes or hugging a tree to feel its power or just listening to the waves as they come in, those activities remind me of the rhythm of life and helps me feel grounded.  In New York, I can't go to the beach on a daily basis as I used to but I can watch the flock of ducks swimming in unison and the tide of the river coming into the harbor.  I can also observe how flowers start to bloom.

In the summer I sometimes go down to the harbor and lie down on the dock.  It sways with the incoming tide and it helps me to be present and flexible with whatever is happening.  I let myself go and release all control at least for an hour or two. It's a perfect way of moving with the flow of life for me.

It's easy to not be present and to worry about so many things I can't control.  Making sure I feel nature close to me on a daily basis is very important.  Seeing beauty and renewal as spring comes in is restorative particularly in light of the devastation in Japan and news about floods in Brazil.  It's inevitable not to feel pain at what is going on in other parts of the world.  As impotent as we may think we are, I believe we can always do something to help.

Sending our brothers and sisters love and prayers are very powerful things to do in addition to sending money - if one can do that as well.  Thought is extremely powerful.  Surrounding these very difficult situations with love and light is a way to help heal people that are suffering. These cities will rebuild and renew themselves with the collective strength and faith of people.  People will rebuild their lives and move forward to new experiences.  If we can envision flowers blooming after the destruction that winter brings we can also see how rebirth in all situations is possible.

Rebirth is possible within ourselves and in the external world.  All is possible.  

Courage

I never know quite what to say or write about courage but I will give it a try.  By nature I am courageous and bold so it's difficult for me to step out of myself and define myself or a particular act of mine as courageous.

To me courage is about following my heart and being true to who I am.  It is also about following wherever my imagination takes me.  I was inspired years ago by a passage in a book by Carlos Castañeda about only following the path that has heart to be "one" with it - I have included it below this post because it's beyond brilliant and beautiful. It resonates strongly with who I am.  Castañeda's philosophy in that regard seemed to make perfect sense to me then and still does today.  To follow the path that has heart has its costs.  It is not generally acceptable or understood to live by your principles and your beliefs and to have integrity first with who you are.  At least that is what I have discovered along the way. It usually helps when you know what those principles are and what you want to uphold in your life ahead of making major life decisions.

I recently resigned from a senior position in a large company because I felt that was the only possible option for me. By resigning, I lost a fantastic job in the sense that it had a lot of responsibility and the potential for making an important impact on society and I had a great team reporting to me.  The nature of the work that I do is fascinating to me because it is all about creating something new from nothing.  Staying in this company would have meant that I could live with less than principled behavior from my boss and others. Therefore, I felt I had no choice but to resign because I couldn't live with that.  But where there are costs there are gains.  The prize I received is how I feel about it. I am extremely happy not to be there anymore.  Extremely happy. That is a prize I can celebrate on a daily basis.  

As a result, I am know looking for a job and everything in my life is uncertain.  Sometimes it's not that comfortable although I haven't been afraid (see my earlier post in January on Uncertainty and Fear for the meditation I do every day that actually works!).   I should add I thrive in ambiguity.  I chose not to have a scripted life in any regard and the type of work I love to do involves exploration and discovery.  I never felt I fit anywhere and I probably don't fit exactly anywhere; therefore, I fit everywhere.  I love paradoxes.

One job I always wanted to have was to be part of an elite corps (the organization is irrelevant as long as it embodies the right principles) fighting for the downtrodden or those that are in trouble.  Whether it's about rescuing people or finding people that are missing or fighting for those that can't fight for themselves, that is something that is incredibly motivating to me.  I am thinking I was probably a warrior in another lifetime.

My ideal job assumes some clarity on good versus evil which is not always so crystal clear.  It also has to require a high degree of intelligence and creativity for it to be truly exciting. Only problem I have about most jobs where those characteristics exist is that they typically involve weapons - the sword in the image in my post is meant to be figurative.   I have somehow found aspects of my ideal job in most of the jobs I held in the past few years and I'm confident I will find that again.

Courage.  Still don't think I have fully defined it.  Hopefully, I have defined what it means for me today. I hope my definition of courage - and of all things in my life - will continue to evolve as I learn more and more.

Excerpt from The Teachings of Don Juan by Carlos Castañeda:

      Anything is one of a million paths. Therefore you must always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if you feel you should not follow it, you must not stay with it under any conditions. To have such clarity you must lead a disciplined life. Only then will you know that any path is only a path and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you to do. But your decision to keep on the path or to leave it must be free of fear or ambition. I warn you. Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary.

      This question is one that only a very old man asks. Does this path have a heart? All paths are the same: they lead nowhere. They are paths going through the bush, or into the bush. In my own life I could say I have traversed long long paths, but I am not anywhere. Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't, it is of no use. Both paths lead nowhere; but one has a heart, the other doesn't. One makes for a joyful journey; as long as you follow it, you are one with it. The other will make you curse your life. One makes you strong; the other weakens you.
      
      Before you embark on any path ask the question: Does this path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will know it, and then you must choose another path. The trouble is nobody asks the question; and when a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him. At that point very few men can stop to deliberate, and leave the path. A path without a heart is never enjoyable. You have to work hard even to take it. On the other hand, a path with heart is easy; it does not make you work at liking it.

** End of Excerpt **

Invincibility of Spirit

I have been pondering on how the physical tsunami in Japan reminds me of my own personal tsunamis.   The physical reality of it has made me realize of the parallels that exist between them.  Symbolically, they are the same.   There are external forces that greatly impact our lives, sometimes they seem to destroy our lives and leave us bare naked emotionally, physically and psychologically.   Very vulnerable.  Assuming we survive the physical onslaught, our spirits are invincible if we choose that road.  We are able to overcome anything and move forward with renewed strength and faith.

As I review my personal tsunamis and how I was transformed by them, I am a much stronger person than who I was and I am certainly wiser.  Those nuggets in themselves are valuable things to learn but the greater gift has been understanding the world in a different way and the desire to share that knowledge  to help others.  The desire to help others was there to begin with as I grew up in a culture of giving and serving others but the difference now is that I know much more and am very aware of it.  Consciously knowing when I may be helpful to others and actually give something of myself is part of who I am.

Helping others is the great motivator in life...whether it's within the family nucleus or outside of it, focusing on how to assist people that need it gives both meaning and motivation to me.  Otherwise, it's so easy to focus on the past, on the tsunamis, on the devastation, on the pain...We have a choice on what to focus on and what thoughts may enter the gate of happiness.  What we let enter our minds through this gate is what either enhances our contentment and well being or what begins to erode and eat away at what we are trying to build for ourselves.

Personal tsunamis are helpful to keep in mind when assisting other people get through their own devastating experiences.  When their experiences are not as extreme as mine, my seemingly crippling experiences help me put everything in perspective for them and for myself.  What is interesting is that I know I am just the conduit to help them see the answers within themselves.  We all know everything already.  We have the answers.  And, somehow,  our spirit will get us through if we decide to take that path.  Not just to get us through but to allow us to be able to feel elation and enthusiasm once again for our lives. To believe.

I have some tools to help me with life in general and with specific crises as they arise.  I am sharing a  meditation that works.  If you are not used to meditating, start with 5 minutes and build up to 11 minutes:

MEDITATION TO HANDLE A GRAVE SITUATION

This is a very simple and ancient meditation to resolve conflict in us. If you do it, you'll enjoy it. Just see what changes you go through. Just supervise yourself.

The moment the body knows the breath is out, it starts adjusting at the highest rate of efficiency. The theory is that when the breath is out and the prana is not there, the pranic body starts penetrating through the other bodies to create the combination. The "computer" must figure out how to allow you and your cells, which need x amount of oxygen, to survive.

If you have a most grave situation to handle, 5 minutes of this will help.

How to Do It:
Sit with the legs crossed. Press the hands on the breasts, palms in, fingers pointing toward each other. The hands are relaxed with the fingers extended and joined. This is a comfortable position with very little pressure and no tension in the arms and hands.

Close the eyes 9/10 of the way. Deeply inhale for 5 seconds. Completely exhale for 5 seconds, and hold the breath out for 15 seconds (count in your head).

Begin with 11 minutes and slowly build to 31 minutes.

**End**

Most importantly, meditation or not, we all have the power to draw from our limitless, infinite, and very powerful souls at any time.  Each one of us has all the power we wish we had.     

Heartbroken

Heartbroken.  That's how the President of the U.S. said he felt about Japan.  I feel the same way.  It's very difficult to comprehend the degree of devastation that has occurred in Japan in the past few days.  The brutal reality is that these natural disasters keep taking place...in China, Chile, Haiti, New Zealand, Australia, Indonesia, Brazil, Costa Rica, the United States, etc...earthquakes, tsunamis, floods, tornadoes, and other calamities.  So many natural disasters in so many countries, it's very hard to begin to comprehend the pain and suffering that millions of people are experiencing.

I watched the earthquake and tsunami in Japan in the news and it seemed unreal.  It reminded me of a man made disaster - the airplanes crashing against the World Trade Towers on September 11th.  I had just moved to a new apartment and my TV had been stolen by someone that worked for the moving company.   Some friends called me - one from the Upper East Side (East 90's) and another one blocks away from the World trade towers.  They were both terrified, the first friend because he had heard the planes flying low near his apartment and the second one because she saw what had happened in the news and it was just minutes away from her apartment.  I called some friends in my new neighborhood and went to their place to watch the news.  All I remember is saying:  "I don't believe it, I don't believe it".  I probably said that thousands of times that day as I saw the replay of the planes crashing against the World Trade Towers again and again.

That's how the devastation in Japan is to me.  The tragedy is so mammoth it's real and unreal at the same time.  I am feeling heartbroken all the same.  I know it's very real to everyone that has lost their home, that is still looking for their relatives and loved ones or to those that saw their loved ones being swept away by the tsunami.  How to help them is the important question.  Sending money, sending prayers...it's very tough.  Seems one should be able to do more.  I know that everything helps at least a little bit.

Love and strength to all.

Best Hotdog in New York

I went to Walter's in Mamaroneck, N.Y., last week-end.  My parents moved the family from Bronxville, N.Y., to Mamaroneck where we lived there for a few years before I started working and moved to Scarsdale.

Walter's is an institution.  What's most fun - and that I remember from when I lived in Mamaroneck - is that people have been writing from all over the world for years to say things like "I am in Paris, have had wonderful meals but can't wait to get back and have a hotdog from Walter's!". While you wait in line for your hotdog, you can read all the crazy postcards from Walter's customers writing from Vietnam, Hong Kong, Chile, etc., etc.

I have never written to Walter's from Paris or Brussels or any other city for that matter but truth be told, that's the very best hotdog I have ever eaten!  I usually don't eat hotdogs as I know they are very unhealthy.  I don't even want to know what Walter's hotdogs are made of...but they taste so good!  They grill the hotdog first so the casing is crunchy when you bite into it and they make their own mustard which I think is a combination of mustard and relish.  It is not a spicy mustard but has a special taste of its own which is addictive and very yuuuummmy!  I confess I ate two hotdogs last Friday and enjoyed every single bite!

I should add that all of my family moved out of Mamaroneck years ago but whenever anyone is within 60 minutes of Mamaroneck, we make it a point to go back to Walter's.  I typically go about once a year.  We have also initiated friends from other countries and states into this wonderful hotdog experience!  This is the only place I have eaten hotdogs in years because I know how unhealthy they are and I usually avoid them.  I mostly eat healthy food as that makes me feel better overall.  I only made an exception once when I tried one of Pink's hotdogs in Los Angeles.  I thought that I should try one of their famous hotdogs to compare to Walter's.  Walter's won hands down!!!  Sorry, Pink's!

In case you want to go, it's on Palmer Avenue, right in front of the back of Mamaroneck High School.  You can get there by train (Grand Central Station, Metro North) to New Haven which makes a stop in Mamaroneck or drive from Manhattan for about 40 minutes on 95 South.  Definitely worth the trip!!!

Roses in New York

It's not quite spring but it's definitely around the corner.  We had a particularly brutal winter in New York this year and we are all ready for a long break.  We have finally moved from below 20 degree Fahrenheit weather to slightly above 40 degrees.  My hibernation period is finally over!

I walked around the park in front of my apartment the other day and didn't see any promising buds yet on any flower stalk.  However, I walked on Park Avenue later that day and found not only buds but actual beautiful flowers and insects roaming on their leaves...it was a sight to behold (see picture).  Okay, they are not the kind of flowers that you need to put in water...but they seemed pretty real to me!  Will Ryman is a New York artist - some of his rose sculptures reach as tall as 25-feet along Park Avenue. He installed 38 rose buds from 57th to 67th Street and some scattered petals on some of the streets.  There are also insects inside some of the roses, ladybugs and other insects...how fabulous is that?

I love it when streets become museum galleries and art becomes part of the daily landscape of the city.  The profusion of art accessible to all is more commonly seen in parks, like at the Tuilleries in Paris or at the Piazza della Signoria in Florence.  At the Piazza, there were tournaments and feasts in the 13th Century until it became an open air museum two centuries later.

I saw sculptures by Botero displayed there a few years ago. They were placed close to other statues, such as David's replica of the original David by Michaelangelo. Botero's large men and women stood out defiantly and proud against centuries of architectural elegance and tradition as represented by the towers and palaces surrounding the square.  They stood tall against centuries of intrigue and political infighting between the ruling families that lived in those palaces.  The Botero statues seemed loose and decadent to some degree, they certainly looked like they had enjoyed a series of gluttonous meals and delighted in limitless excess.  They existed in distinct contrast to the quiet renaissance beauty throughout the square.  Considering their size, my guess is that they were particularly happy to be in the land of amazing pasta and gnocchi dishes!  The Champs-Elysees and Park Avenue have played the role of open air museums in the past.  I remember Botero statues - and other artwork - being exhibited right where these roses are today...it's a wonderful idea.

Whether it's a Botero statue or roses by Will Ryman, seeing art while I am walking around the city fills my heart with joy.  It makes me very happy to live here.  It reminds me how in New York anything can happen.   Including seeing beautiful flowers in the middle of winter on Park Avenue.

Every Day is Women's Day

I am a day late on this topic because the International Women's Day was yesterday although I started writing this article last night. And, after the family gathering this past week and other distractions - I am behind in every aspect of my life, including writing this blog.  However, every day is women's day so it doesn't really matter.

I read this article by Nicholas Kristoff tonight (http://kristof.blogs.nytimes.com, (found on my blog page, under Eric Ripert's blog on the  right of the page)) titled Do Women Leaders Matter?.  Mr. Kristoff is an Pulitzer Prize award winner and a very interesting journalist because he has been a consistently strong advocate for women.  He wrote a book in partnership with his wife, Sheryl Wu Dunn, an equally accomplished journalist (also a Pulitzer Prize winner), called Half of the Sky, Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide. "Women hold up half the sky" is a Chinese proverb that has not been true in most of the world because there are still serious gender gaps everywhere.  Mr. Kristoff's and Ms. Wu Dunn's book makes a case as to why it is critical to support women in developing countries. This is over and above the fact that women have the right to be treated equally to every other citizen in all countries.

In response to Mr. Kristoff's latest blog entry, Do Women Leaders Matter? regarding the issue of women in power and what they do for other women is one I have experienced directly.  I have never met a woman in a position of power - and I have met a few of them - that has helped other women.  I am sure it happens in some organizations but I didn't experience it and I worked in a very large global company in New York.  My theory is that women that are educated are still not comfortable with their roles, don't know how to handle power, and feel threatened by other women.  They were helped to get to their senior positions by men and mentors but - in general - they don't know how to do the same for other women.  Men have been doing that for centuries and created their "old boys' network" while women are fairly new to the workforce. Do Women Leaders Matter?  Yes, they definitely do.  But more needs to be done to educate those women in in leadership positions so that they are comfortable to use their power to help other women.

If I have experienced the lack of support from senior level executive women in New York, I cannot even imagine the disparity that exists in countries where women don't share equal standing with men in all regards, including the availability of healthcare, access to education, etc.  Women helping women is an issue but regardless of who helps women, women need the help.  I'm not complaining about my own situation as I am in New York and while there is still a glass ceiling, millions of women all over the world don't even have any type of ceiling to aspire to.  They don't have the luxury of thinking about a "glass ceiling" because their needs are so much dire and basic.

Why women are important other than being such a large percentage of the world's population (almost equal to the number of men) and should be counted - aside from being a basic human right! - is highlighted in the article below.  To summarize a few of the key points:

• One woman dies in childbirth around the world every minute due to inadequate healthcare.
• The poorest families in the world spend approximately 10 times as much (20% of their incomes on average) on a combination of alcohol, prostitution, candy, sugary drinks and lavish feasts as they do on educating their children (2%).  When women control the purse, they spend more money on nutrition and education of the children. 
• The more education and healthcare is provided to women, the greater positive impact is made on economic growth in the countries that make an investment on women.  Women are able to participate in the labor force and contribute to productivity and growth. More education also allows women to make informed decisions for their families, their health and their prosperity. 

For similar reasons, Goldman Sachs has made a 5-year, $100 million, commitment to the education of women worldwide since 2008.   It is a very impressive program that has already impacted women in over 22 countries.  Kudos to Dina Powell for her leadership in this area and to the team that is working on the 10,000 Women program!

To learn more about this important cause please go to:  www.halftheskymovement.org.

Speaking for Change

There is much that is left unspoken by all of us in many aspects of our lives. The mere act of speaking is a catalyst for change just as the act of not speaking perpetuates the existence of what must change.  The objective of speaking for change is two-fold:  one, we accelerate change within ourselves by being able to speak up for what we believe which is very empowering; second, our voice may be the one voice that is heard and that ultimately causes change to occur on behalf of others.

In a way, our voice strengthens the collective unconscious; it moves those eternal truths to the forefront of consciousness for the greater good.  Jung defines the collective unconscious as follows:

“The collective unconscious is a part of the psyche which can be negatively distinguished from a personal unconscious by the fact that it does not, like the latter, owe its existence to personal experience and consequently is not a personal acquisition. While the personal unconscious is made up essentially of contents which have at one time been conscious but which have disappeared from consciousness through having been forgotten or repressed, the contents of the collective unconscious have never been in consciousness, and therefore have never been individually acquired.”

What Jung says is that the collective unconscious predates the individual.  It is the repository of all the religious, mythological, and mythological symbols and experiences that we inherit.  The collective unconscious' primary structures  – deeply ingrained in the psyche – are what Jung called “Archetypes”.   Jung stated that psychologically, the archetypes were the conceptual matrixes or patters behind all our religious and mythological concepts, as well as our thinking processes in general.

I believe that is true of Archetypes as well as of spiritual truths such as Justice, Love, Purity, etc., etc.  How do we know what to strive for since, for example, there is no such thing as perfect justice in our planet?   As humans, some of us do our best to strive towards justice but somehow we find out there is no justice after all.  There is something that we can call "justice" that is man made and appears as being just.  How do we that there is no perfect justice and also internally know that it exists?

This is a topic I think a lot about.  In fact, I started rereading the Phaedo because Socrates talks about it in the context of the immortality of the soul; I read the Dialogues by Plato in college and it was the first time I started thinking about this subject.  Hopefully, I’ll have more insights once I finish it.   It's one of those puzzles that fascinates me and that I want to reconstruct to satisfy my curiosity.

My belief that we move the consciousness of the universe by speaking up for noble and good causes as well as for our individual truths is something I will not be able to prove. However, I will spend a bit of time building a stronger theory around that belief - for my own enrichment.  Knowing is stronger than my desire to prove it but I want to explore it intellectually.  It will be fun.

In the meantime, will continue to speak my truth.  It's very difficult.  Fortunately for me, it's harder for me not to speak up.  It helps to believe that I am moving consciousness forward.

Le Bernardin

Today, some friends and I had an incredible experience at one of the most revered restaurants in New York  - Le Bernardin.  This restaurant was originally named after an order of monks devoted to good food and wine.  The owner, Maguy Le Coze, was born in a small fishing village in France and her grandfather was a fisherman.  We went to Le Bernardin to  finish celebrating a special occasion - we started over the week-end - and the fact that we were all together in New York.  One may celebrate in a beach with sandwiches and a bottle of wine but the experience at Le Bernardin took the art of cooking to a new level. This is a restaurant that has received countless industry awards and a high degree of recognition from its very happy customers for several years.

It was an extremely relaxing lunch, the ambiance was subdued, the service staff was excellent and understated. The calm and quiet environment allowed us to talk, drink and eat at leisure.  There were beautiful 19th and 20th Century paintings on the walls, including a large painting of a port in the Normandy coastline in the front dining room (see photo). The themes of all the paintings were mostly of ports, fish, fish dishes, and fishermen...There was a lot of dark caramel wood on the walls and ceilings throughout the restaurant and beautiful and large flower arrangements.  I believe some of the flower arrangements included cherry blossoms.  The decor was very tasteful and warm.

I have been to some of the best restaurants in New York.  Daniel, Jean Georges, Bouley, Nobu, and now Le Bernardin.  They are all very different and all very good.  It's hard to say which one is the better restaurant as Le Bernardin is a seafood restaurant and the other four restaurants offer a broader selection of dishes.  I started lunch with a very light, thinly pounded, Tuna appetizer (amazing!) followed by Hiramasa, a delicate white fish with a black truffle emulsion and risotto which was a very subtle and delicious dish.  I tasted all my friends' dishes and they were all unbelievably great.  We had champagne and then a light white Burgundy, Vaillons Thierry Laffay which was a perfect pairing for all our incredible seafood dishes.  I had been having visions of a bouillabaisse all morning before lunch but that is not in the menu right now.  Dessert was chocolate with chicory ice cream. Everything was perfectly seasoned.  It was very simple yet complex food.  Aside from the exquisite food, what impressed me about Le Bernardin was the service.  It was impeccable and unobtrusive, the mark of excellent service.  I also liked that the portions were reasonable.  I usually find that at most New York restaurants, the portions are unnecessarily large.

Eric Rippert, Le Bernardin's renowned chef and part-owner, walked around the restaurant two or three times, greeting some of the guests he knew.  He looked focused and relaxed at the same time.   After all, this is his home turf.  He's been doing what he does consistently very well for years now.

At least a couple of members of my family are serious gourmets.  There is more than a commitment to good food and wine, there is also a commitment to support local and sustainable ingredients and wherever possible,  organic food.  One of these family gourmets was at lunch today and he relished every second, taking in every aspect of what was a wonderful and memorable experience.  He was beaming which made me very happy.

Thanks to my friends and family for a truly amazing experience!  And, of course, to Chef Rippert and his team!  

Alien Girl

Am I from another planet?  Sometimes I think so.  I surely don’t share some of the values that seem to be prevalent around me so I feel I don’t belong here.  I’ve written about feeling like this before.

I was told by one of my amazing spiritual teachers that indeed I’m from another planet.  Aren’t we all?  He is an expert at face reading and he couldn’t find marks of my past on my face; he said that was very unusual.  He said I had a mission to complete here and that’s why I was here.  He also said that the sadness in my eyes is because I want to go back.  It wasn’t clear where I would go back.  My mission is being achieved, I’m wondering when play time starts.  That would be only fair, accomplishing the mission and being able to play as well.  I’m more than ready for that.

I don’t think that consistently working on the “mission” is all I’m supposed to do.  I also want to enjoy this planet and understand it more although it’s not easy!  I mostly don’t understand it.

A psychic told me once that I came from Sirius B.  This was in a yoga class.  Hard to know if that’s true or not.  It makes me feel good that I may from Sirius B although I take this information with a glacier of salt (modified American expression which is to take something with a "grain of salt" which is when one doesn't fully believe it).  This planet is a different place from what I talked in my earlier post (Pink Elephants, February 24th) which I know is my original home and where souls gather before being assigned to a given planet.  Let’s say my original home is not a planet, it exists in the ethers…it’s more like what I imagine heaven to be.

It’s confusing.  I have so many homes.  I am fortunate.  I have family comprised mostly of kindred spirits in at least 9 cities around the world.  When I spoke to another one of my spiritual teachers about it because I was concerned about being far away from people I love, she said that I existed beyond time and place.  How cool is that?  The moment she said that my concern was transformed to being proud of being beyond time and place.   This is a clear demonstration of the power of words and thought, a subject I will explore further in a future post.

I do want to clarify I am not psychotic.  I am quite sane.  What I write in my blog is the truest representation of my soul.  Otherwise, why bother?  It’s honest and that is why it may sound foreign to some people.

One thing I know, it's much colder in New York than in Syrius B!

Possibilities

There is nothing better than remembering that possibilities abound even when both the day outside and your heart are grey.

Something that I don't seem to be able to deal effectively with is deception.  Being betrayed and lied about is very tough for me.  First, while I am not a saint and commit my share of errors, the willful behavior to put one's needs above others is so anathema to who I am that it's very hard behavior to process.  Second, people doing everything - including hurting others - to achieve their ends is something that falls in the category of abhorrent behavior to me.  There are many figures in history that have been only focused on their ambitions and caused significant amount of damage around them. Those figures still exist today because I don’t believe that human nature has evolved.  Maybe technology has changed the world around us but we are the same people we were hundredths of years ago, with the same weaknesses and foibles.  The great news is that people that pursue noble goals and ideals also exist today. Thus, the tug of war between good and evil continues.

In a world where Bernie Madoff states he is a  “good person” it’s hard to understand who set the standards he adheres to that make him believe he is a “good person”. What’s a good person anyway, how does one define that? The scariest part is that people like Madoff – who has hurt many people - don't care or are even aware of the damage they cause.  I sustain that these people are eventually found out because they have a pattern of thinking that leads to unethical behavior that is repeated again and again.  It is my hope that sooner or later these people are stopped completely from causing harm to others.

I am usually not judgmental but I am judgmental about unethical behavior that hurts people. I am not judgmental about how people live, what people believe in, what decisions they make...but I definitely judge those that actually don't think twice about inflicting pain on others.  It's beyond comprehension to me to justify or explain hurting others to achieve one’s ends. Whether the behavior stems from a troubled childhood, insecurities, personality disorders, etc., there is no possible justification for hurting others consciously. It's not a subject I want to delve into to much because it's dark and I would rather stay close to the light.

I have been dealing with a company that I admire in the past few days.  Someone there treated me unfairly and I am in the phase of documenting what happened to send to the company’s senior management.  I also thought of not doing anything - an action in itself - but that would have been even more painful for me.  It hurt my soul and my soul needs to speak the truth.  Also, I have a responsibility to the rest of the trusting people like myself who may be treated in the same unethical way unless I shine light on it.

The reason it would be painful for me not to speak up is because I care more about my integrity than anything else.  Not saying anything would certainly be cowardly as well as disrespectful to who I am.  Then I have to live with that shame.  That’s something I am not willing to do at all.

The situation is unpleasant, and ugly.  I can’t wait till I can put this behind me and move on.  I will have to meditate on what constructive lesson I learn from this, somehow the universe keeps reminding me that evil exists.  It’s possible that a key lesson to remember is what Shakespeare said:  “Love All, Trust Few, Do Wrong to None” with emphasis on “Trust Few”.   How to “Love All” is a big challenge when these kind of situations are caused by someone.  I still struggle with that one.

I started writing this post yesterday and it was very cloudy outside…today the sun is shining brightly once again.  The reflection of its golden rays makes the buildings and the river shimmer with light which is why I posted a picture that represents that.  

I'm moving on towards the light…I’m grateful I’m getting closer and closer to it.