Think Big

In my January 21st post, Around the Corner, I discuss how surprises are around the corner and that one should expect the best. I also believe that as one goes through life one must think big.  In all regards.

One should think big about what is possible whether it's related to our professional or personal lives.  I probably wrote in an earlier post how people that worked for me knew that there were two words that were banned from our meetings:  one was "impossible" and the other was "problem".   That was - and is - my way of not limiting my thoughts in any way.

I have glimpses of infinity within myself.  It gives me a sense of possibilities which is a more comfortable place for me to be than in any other place.  If I had more time to meditate (which I do every day for about one hour and yet I find it's not enough)  I would probably be able to glimpse that state of being in a more profound way.

If we go as far as our imagination takes us - which is limitless - we could probably achieve more in our lives.  There was a short period during a tough period in my career - when I was working for someone that was mentally ill - that I didn't believe I had many options.  I felt I was constantly walking at the side of an abyss and that I could fall into it at any point.  It was a scary way to think about my life and it lasted for almost a year.  I don't recall how I shifted my thinking to see that there were in fact options I could pursue.  Once I did that I not only got out of a self-destructive frame of mind but was able to escape from a department led by an insane boss.   The best part of that experience is that I rarely go into that limited way of thinking now and I focus my energy on thinking big.

A case in point is how I'm tackling my job search.  There are well-meaning friends that send me jobs I am overqualified for and where the scope of work entails doing things I did early on on my career.   They believe I am desperate but I'm not there yet.  In fact, my brother asked me yesterday whether I was getting desperate.  I'm stressed and impatient.  I'm not desperate.  Being desperate would mean to me that I've lost hope and there is nothing else that I can do.

So before getting to the point of despair I think big.  I am even thinking of creating my own company.  I haven't turned the corner yet so don't know what awaits me once I go around the corner.   Until I get there,  I will  continue to think big.

Stress

"For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.”
Vincent Van Gogh

I haven't found the secret to reduce stress. It's definitely in the mind.  How one thinks about things results in stress or no stress.  Like Van Gogh, I can definitely focus on the stars or in something else that is beautiful and inspiring.  But my mind could then get lost in that for hours - now I'm paraphrasing Van Gogh - and what would I accomplish?  Being practical means that I have to work every day in those areas that are important to me in order to move forward.  I would prefer to look at the stars...or the clouds.

I focus on being positive no matter what.  However, what stresses me is usually related to prolonged periods of uncertainty.  I can handle the ambiguity surrounding most things but even I have a limit of tolerating the unknown.  The mere thought that I may be moving is stressing to me.  Maybe because the whole process is demanding, relentless and exhausting.  I keep reminding myself that I will confront that if and when it happens.

It is also very exciting.  There is an adventure that is unfolding in front of me.  I want it to continue to unfold to see what life will reveal.

In the meantime, I am stressed.   

Mostly...

Whenever I resist something it is torturous for me.  I do much better when I let whatever it is - even if on the surface I don't want it - to come in, accept it and deal with it.  I do even better when I observe the situation like a journalist would so that my emotions are not in high gear and the process is much smoother.  In some ways I should have been a reporter, I love to step back and report on things versus getting emotionally involved in the drama of life.  I try to take on that role whenever I can.

Resisting only means I am fighting against something that is already present in my life.  In the case of an issue with another person, my preference is to avoid conflict.  However, there is a way to accept what is going on without participating in a negative dance with the other person.  For example, my brother is moving to New York from Europe.  He gets nervous and sometimes a little manic about everything.  Rather than try to change his way of thinking about things, I give him my opinion when asked and then I let it go.  He has to go through his own experience of moving to New York.  He's made some rash decisions he regrets but overall, he's doing well and feeling in control which is important to him.
Therefore, I yield to his ways.  I am not trying to convince him about anything unless I believe it's detrimental to him.  And even then, I try to influence him but not to convince him.

I initially titled this post Always...but one should exercise good judgment as to when to yield and not to yield.  Obviously, if you are being mistreated by a boyfriend or girlfriend or by a colleague...one should not yield.  One should speak up to stop this behavior in a non-confrontational but decisive way.

What I am consciously not doing now is thinking about making a decision about Brazil versus New York.  As I explained in my post Leap of Faith on April 15th, I may need to make such a choice in a couple of months.  For the moment, I am playing out the New York card at its fullest.  In reality, that is what makes sense as I haven't exhausted all possibilities in New York yet.

It would be wonderful not to have to think of any of that but then, I would be living someone else's life.  My life is unsettled and uncertain at the moment.  As much as I would like to resist it, it's an inescapable truth.  To me, playing the New York card at its fullest is exploring possibilities I didn't want to explore.  I am being as proactive as possible.   What good would complaining about it do?  Or why would I spend too much energy feeling sorry for myself?  

 So I yield. 

Energy

Writing these posts helps me put things in perspective.  I was with family all last week and didn't have time to write!  Between being with them and job-related meetings I had to go to, it was hard to also write my posts.  I also made a commitment to myself and to my followers that I wouldn't write just to write but rather write when I believe I have something to say.  

Today I write about energy because I feel I have little energy left to do what I need to do.  I am the first culprit in not spending my energy in the most productive of ways for myself.  I tend to go through papers again and again - that is somewhat of my signature approach to getting organized.  I also watch too much television as I search for a job.  I can list several other sins which will remain a mystery...

It's easy not to focus on what we need to because distractions abound.  I wouldn't call family distracting because I don't see them often and every minute is enjoyable and precious.  But there are real distractions such as watching TV or reading or doing random things aimlessly that are not productive at all.  Whenever I have been successful, it's been because I placed laser-like focus on what I wanted to accomplish.  That is the most effective way for me to get things done.  I set a target and decide that there are no excuses to not getting it done within a certain timeframe and in a certain way.  That helps me tremendously.

So starting tomorrow I'll wake up at 5:00 a.m. No excuses, including the one where I can go on and on about the fact that my bed is like a beautiful, white, cloud. I can talk myself into staying in bed because "it's so much like a cloud, I can't get up from it". I can come up with many creative excuses.  In addition to waking up early, I will create a list of "must do's" for tomorrow.  An aggressive list with tight deadlines.  Then I will push myself to complete this list.  I think that will help me get back on track.  Not the general track, my track...Once I get things on my list done, I'll take a nice, long, break...it's good to mix up hard work with taking some breaks.

Yes, my bed is like a white cloud.  But so is heaven.  I am on earth, I have to do earthly things and get things done!   And then go back to the cloud...

Leap of Faith

I have been invited to move to Brazil by a very good friend who assures me there are many job opportunities in my field there.  She wants me to move and live with her while I look for a job.

I have been there before and there are no reasons I shouldn't go there other than I live in New York.  I have lived here for many years, I like where I live and I have friends here. Brazil would probably be more fun and exciting than New York. While I love New York and it can be a great city to live in, it's harder to fully enjoy it when you are not working and are mainly focused on the job hunt.  Even when working, there is such a strong work ethic that people mostly hunker down and work, work, work.  In general, we don't enjoy life as people from other countries do.  Time is consumed resolving work issues, clients, meeting deadlines, exceeding growth targets, competing for the next job, etc., etc.  It's a different kind of fun and it is very absorbing.  It is also extremely competitive.

Having fun in New York is also about the rich cultural life  although when you are working late hours you end up missing most of that.  It's also about going to great restaurants and going to the many interesting bars.   There is plenty to do for every taste, size, race and creed.  Mostly New York is a vortex of energy and it is palpable.  All kinds of people are always getting somewhere, doing something, striving for some goal or another, they are always moving, moving, moving...

I have a couple of very close friends - family really - but other than that, other friends live so far that we rarely see each other even though we like and care about each other.  So it is complicated to maintain a strong friendship with some of them.

It is interesting how opportunities present themselves.  To move to Brazil would represent a significant leap of faith.  I'd have to give up my beautiful apartment (a place I have been very happy in) as well as focus on perfecting my Portuguese during the first three months after I arrive, getting used to living with  someone while I have been living mostly by myself in New York, etc., etc.  On the other hand, there is something about the sheer adventure of it that is very appealing to me.  It is risky.  I was the child that was always climbing trees and going beyond any reasonable limits because I loved the risk and the danger.

There are other considerations I will have to think about.  I have decided to play out the job hunt in New York as far as it goes until the summer and then make a final decision.  I strongly believe that life presents us with opportunities that we must examine, assimilate, see how we feel about them and then decide.  What one must not do is reject them only because it's not as comfortable as staying where one is and the opportunity represents a big leap of faith.  I'll take my time and think about it carefully.  Somehow I am confident the answer will be crystal clear soon.  

In reality, the type of decision I have to make is in line with what Robert Frost (who also inspired the title of this blog) talks about in his famous poem below:

The Road Not Taken
Robert Frost (1874–1963).  Mountain Interval.  1920.


TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;        5

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,        10

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.        15

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.        20

We'll see what happens.  It's fun to see how life unfolds, particularly when one is actually making some decisions along the way that determine its unfolding.  

Another life...

On long and rare days when not even the smallest bit of hope is raising its head, I remember I have had other lives and I get great pleasure from the fact that this is one of many.  It helps me put everything in perspective.

It's going to sound quite annoying and arrogant but I do remember walking the many galleries of the Tuilleries Palace - now the Louvre Museum - and remembering it from another lifetime.  I know I Iived there.  I was not a servant, I remember being there as part of the court.  I am not sure whether I was a man or a woman but I was there.  When I go to Paris, I feel I am home. Especially when I am at the Louvre.

I am very curious to know more about past lives.  I just don't have the time right now to indulge in that kind of exploration.  Someday I will seek Dr. Brian Weiss and find out more details about my past lives.  In theory, it seems that one learns about issues one had and that may be still playing out in this lifetime and it helps to heal those issues.   I love many, many countries deeply but that's not the criteria I use.  My unscientific approach to "knowing" where I may have lived in another lifetime is focused on how familiar the place is to me, how much I recognize the "environs" and how much I feel part of it.

I have also read that the more lives you have lived the more you have learned and the more evolved you are.  Which is why younger souls with fewer lives under their belts come to this planet and seem unprepared and are not as wise as other souls.  I somehow believe I have lived many, many lives...I don't have a recollection of the city where I lived but I have a special connection to Brazil and its people.  I have been in Rio de Janeiro, in Sao Paulo and in other smaller cities in Brazil but never recognized any of these as having been my home.  But the language brings back memories deep inside my soul.

As I wrote in Pink Elephants on February 24th, I'll be ready to go home once my time is up here on earth.  I am so happy I had the life I seem to remember in Paris years ago as well as others and I am very happy about the life I have now but going to my real home will be pretty wonderful too.  

Anger

Anger is typically a difficult subject for people in general to handle.  It is difficult to allow oneself to feel it.  When one allows it, it may be devastating in its strength and impact if directed towards others.  Somehow, I feel it is healthy to feel anger as long as one is able to work through it before communicating with others or taking any actions.  If one works through it, the way to deal with the offending party is much more effective and powerful than doing it in the midst of anger.

I grew up in a family where being polite was valued and extremely important. Thus, being angry was not acceptable behavior.  When my father got angry, it was time to escape and hide which I did very effectively.  Most of my brothers and sisters became adept at hiding too.  Interesting that we weren't allowed to get angry but my father could get angry.

I wasn't an angry child but I was a child with a lot going on both in my heart and spirit.  I wanted to express myself and to be heard.  I was told by my mother that I was like a matchstick, always lighting up at the slightest movement.  I know she found my energy surprising and she wasn't entirely comfortable with it.  Later, in my early twenties in my first job, I was told I was like a "firecracker" so obviously there was a common thread in people's perception of me.  At work, it was seen as a positive trait.  It was never anger, it is just who I am.  I had - and I still have - a lot of fire inside of me.  Then and now, it is good fire.

As a result of our upbringing there is quite a bit of repressed anger in some of my siblings. I see it clearly and it's tough to be within reach of it.  I don't necessarily feel I have to deal with their anger although if it comes in my direction I protect myself from it.

Anger is like an ugly animal that appears when one least expects it.  I mostly observe it and don't react to it when it comes my way.  Thanks to my yoga practice, I haven't engaged in being part of that dance in a while.   Yoga has taught me that I don't have to react to external forces.  I have also learned that feeling anger is okay, I just don't have to act or say something in anger.

What makes me really angry is when I am lied to...not feeling anger at that is something that I haven't conquered yet.  Recently, I was lied to after an interview and I was extremely angry for two weeks.  I  held off answering an email full of lies - sent from the guy that interviewed me to justify why I wouldn't move to the next step in the hiring process -  for two weeks so that I wouldn't let the depth of my anger make me say the wrong thing.  It was very hard not to send him a scathing email.  No matter the circumstances, that is the best approach.  To wait till anger subsides before saying anything to the offending party. Otherwise, one loses automatically as it becomes an issue of winning or losing and the fighting escalates further.

I insulted the guy that lied to me several times in my head and I fumed for two weeks.  I believe it's healthy to fully feel the emotion and then let go of it.  After I worked through all that rage, I wrote a masterful email - or so I thought - in response to the slanderous email he wrote and I felt like a winner. Then I copied his boss who had already interviewed me and thought well enough of me as a candidate to ask me to be interviewed by this liar.  I didn't get the job because his company supported him - in the United States and most other countries there are a lot of legal ramifications when admitting any wrongdoing in writing - but who wants to work in such a dog-eat-dog environment?  At least I was able to uncover his deceit and unethical behavior as my email made it evident that he had lied. I wouldn't have been able to write the same email had I not taken the time to think everything through.

That's true in everything...a calm head and heart will always prevail.

Everything

Nothing leads you to nothing.  Focusing on everything opens you up to receiving everything.

I learned this a while ago.  I have a friend who is from Europe.  He is here for just a few months and adapting himself to a totally new culture.  He is extremely handsome and talented.  But he doesn't know that about himself.  Somehow he believes he deserves nothing.  So that is what he focuses on and that is what he gets. Again and again.

He is learning the hard way that nothing gives you nothing.  That's a hard road to take in life.  You get what you believe you should have.  In this case it's nothing.  Thankfully, he's changing.  He's coming up with strategies to work on himself.   After suffering and seeing his life full of nothing he is beginning to realize everything is possible.  He doesn't quite know what that looks like because he's so used to zeroing in on nothing.

Everything doesn't look like anything in particular.  We have experienced it before, it is infinite in nature. It's like gazing at the sky.  Once we understand ourselves fully we realize we are infinite.  It encompasses so much more than our imagination may create, it's better to keep on saying "I am open to everything great in all aspects of my life" and then let it come in.

Everything great sometimes comes disguised.  Sometimes we get something our minds reject and do not want for some reason.  Maybe what comes is not in the right package or we don't recognize it as great because we have been conditioned that great looks a certain way.  Then we go through the experience and afterwards we realize how great that was.  We realize how we needed the experience that took us to that next level of consciousness and awareness.  It's all how you look at experiences in your life.

I'm open to everything.  I can't control anything anyway.  I may as well be open to everything great that is already in my life and everything else that is coming my way.  

Helping Women

I live in New York City and I have had many more opportunities than most women in the rest of the world.  I was very lucky to have an education and then work in a company that believed (since the 1930's) in paying women the same salary as men doing the same work - an admirable, ethical, progressive company in every sense of the word.

I have read and agonized about the inequalities that take place in other countries where women are concerned.  Nicholas Kristof in The New York TImes (one of the blogs I subscribe to and that may be found to the left side of my blog) thankfully shines light on these issues again and again.  As a woman I am committed to do something about it.  I am not sure exactly what I will do yet. I know that reading and agonizing over these issues is extremely unproductive and frustrating.  Doing something about it is the only alternative.

I realize that in countries with laws and norms that prevent women from getting an education and where they sometimes are not even allowed to leave their homes, where they are killed for being raped, where they are sexually mutilated as they are not allowed to feel anything, etc., it's a different story.  In some of these countries, women face extreme limitations and are unable to speak up and change their world.  For change to take place they need help from others and I don't expect them to take the lead in making a change for themselves because they would probably be killed in the process. Change will likely come from political pressure and from help from grassroots efforts and others.  Powerful women such as Hillary Clinton will help as well - she recently declared she will not seek a second term as Secretary of State of the United States and that she will dedicate herself to being an advocate for women and children.

It's tough to read about the horrors that women go through in remote countries.  What I find equally hard to experience is the inequality that takes place in the Western world.  In some countries that supposedly are "advanced" and part of the Western world, women are still raised and treated as second class citizens.  This is largely a social issue that women buy into and they end up playing those secondary roles with apparent ease.  However, these are women that have great advantages since they have access to education as well as freedom of movement that would be unthinkable in other, more backward, countries.   Some of these women take advantage of their education and become admirable leaders and role models.  Most other women don't quite see themselves as anything but dependent of men in every sense of the word.

I understand it.  However, educated women have less and less excuses for being in the shadows of men and they have no excuse for at least attempting to overcome the social limitations when they have so much more in their favor than most other women in the rest of the world.  To the educated women in the Western world that are paralyzed by their imaginary social constructs I propose that you wake up, emancipate and draw from your own power.  Become a contributor in the world, shed the excuses and do something for other women in your lives.  Use your education and become a mentor, help other women less fortunate to get an education and grow.  Do something other than focus on just yourselves.  Even though I want to do more to have a bigger impact what I have been doing is mentoring women - students, senior managers and executives - so that they can take their place in the world.

I also ask the many conscious and wonderful men out there to also help women.  To them I ask that they teach their daughters that they are equal to boys and have the same opportunities to succeed in life.  Also, to help women as you encounter them in your professional life.  Encourage them, if you see they are not confident, tell them there that confidence is the first ingredient for success.  Teach them what you know so that they learn from your mistakes.  There is a very significant role for you to play to help women. You will be helping your sisters, your daughters and your granddaughters.

There are many ways to serve in the world.  Helping women - who represent half the population in the world - would make a significant difference and help the world as a whole.  

Baking

"Know Thyself",  Socrates

This post may seem culinary in nature but it isn't.  It's about what we need to consider when we "bake" something - let's say a cake - so that once we take it out of the oven, it's ready!  We must include the right ingredients, we must let it in the oven at a certain temperature and then make sure we take it out at a pre-determined amount of time.   If we forget the flour, or we put it in at half the time or at too high a temperature, whatever comes out will not be of the same quality had we considered all the key elements.

I'm not talking about the fine art of "patisserie".  I am talking about respecting the "process" in our lives.  That is a much more delicate topic and one that is constantly on my mind.  It is very important to respect the process that must take place in our lives.  Since all that happens has a spiritual component, it's helpful to pay attention to what is going on around us to understand whether we are not ready for the change we believe we should create or whether we are just being self-destructive and delaying something that is actually going to be very good for us.  The  most important component is to be conscious of what we are doing, what is our inaction or forced action telling us?  Sometimes we get impatient and take actions which also don't work.

I don't have it all figured out.  However, I know when I'm not quite ready or something in me is deterring me from being ready.  Deep inside me it frustrates me sometimes not to be ready for what I want to change.  That is because I am a driver of change in my work so driving for change in my life seems to be something I should be able to do.  But there is no "should" in this equation.  It's all about being conscious and working on ourselves.  Then one day we will wake up and we will know what are the decisions we must take and stick to for our well being.

I help myself through meditations.  Those are my tools to accelerate change within myself or at a minimum assimilate my experiences in a constructive way.  They also help me accept the baking process so that when I finally take that cake out of the oven, it is delicious and I can savor every single bite.

As in the picture, a better me emerges then...



Following are a couple of meditations.  If so inspired, you may pick the 3 minute meditation or the 11 meditation to become more aware.  The 11 minute meditation may be shortened to 3 or 5 minutes to start with and then you may  build up to 11 minutes as time goes on.  It is recommended that you meditate for at least 40 days in a row to feel the difference in yourself.  You may then continue if you want and make it part of your daily life.


I) To make you aware and to stimulate the brain

Sit in easy pose and place the hands behind the neck, interlocking the fingers.
Begin chanting “Har” from the navel point, pulling the elbows forward each time “Har” is chanted.        3 Minutes

This exercise stimulates the feeling of the the brain and makes you able to speak so people can hear you.


II) To become more aware
Sit in easy pose and bring the hands up in front of the body.
Cup the hands slightly and then begin clapping them together, one hand grasping the other.
Form the mouth into an “O” and exhale the moment your hands clap.  
11 Minutes

Freedom II

I am not a psychologist but human behavior fascinates me.  I originally thought I wanted to study to be a psychologist until I realized that it's very difficult to actually help other people transform their lives.  It also is emotionally draining.

I fell in love while I was in college with an alcoholic.  He was two years older and most people in his Ivy League class admired him for his impressive intellectual capacity.  Aside from his intellectual prowess he was extremely handsome.  Some of his friends also talked about how sometimes they would find John (not his real name) at the college after a night of partying, face down on the yard. One could say that in a United States university this is not so unusual but this was consistent behavior.  John was an alcoholic.

John and I were never boyfriend and girlfriend but I did pine for him for a few months.  He had a big heart, a beautiful soul, the mind of a scientist, and the body of an athlete so I was enthralled with him.  At least until I fell in love with someone that was more available to me.

As a result of going through this experience with John, I decided I couldn't handle the daily pain of trying to help someone - and as a psychologist for a profession,  it would be more than just one person - to change and transform themselves when necessary.  Maybe I would have stuck with my choice of career had I not met John and on the other hand it was probably providential.  I certainly didn't have the maturity then to be able to detach from other people's problems.

What I have learned since then is that there are many kinds of addictions.  There is addiction to alcohol,  drugs, food,  people, nicotine, shopping, power, and many other forms of addiction.  And we compromise ourselves so that we are able to get that next fix.  That is until we build the core of who we are in such a way that we feel enough power within ourselves to give it up. Our sense of our own power is enough of a high to give everything else up.

I don't want to simplify addiction at all.  This is a very complicated subject.  Some addictions become physical dependencies which are extremely challenging to overcome.  I have recently seen expressions of addiction in people I care about and I realize how easy it is to fall prey to it.  The naked truth is that addiction is more about living a life that is based on illusion than based on reality.  I would even say illusion is a romantic word that hides what it truly is, it is a lie.  Addiction requires that we lie to ourselves and that we lie to everyone else.  In the end, what is apparent is that it's a house of cards about to fall apart.  At a moment's notice.

We are able to build a strong core within ourselves if we decide that it is better for us to build our strength than being at the mercy of other forces we believe we can't control.  We can control anything if we want to do it badly enough.  It's a choice.  It's a decision.  I don't believe in making any decisions to satisfy others expectations but I do believe in making decisions for ourselves. We owe it to ourselves to live a full life, a life where we live out our full potential and the first step is believing in ourselves.  Each and every one of us deserves to fully realize our potential.  I'm working on believing in myself.  Every day.   Which is why I realize how much more difficult it would be if I was addicted to something or someone.

I wrote about one kind of freedom (see post Freedom on March 3rd).  There are many aspects to everything.  In this case, another side to this topic is that there is nothing more empowering and liberating than being completely free from all external forces.  Being completely free from the shackles we put around our own wrists.  Those shackles aren't just limiting us, they rub against our wrists and hurt us, they break our skin, bruise our spirit.  Being free from these shackles allows us to feel our own power. And allows us to feel a connection with that part of us that is infinite.

How about being addicted to the surge of power that creating your life represents?  Creating a life beyond anything you could have imagined for yourself?  We are able to open ourselves to everything, to greatness in our lives, to anything we are able to envision for ourselves.  It is possible.  It is hard to do but it is possible.

   

Struggles

"Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of them” Epictetus



We all struggle with some issue or another.  Some of us struggle to a greater degree than others; it's all a matter of perspective.  I have some friends that are dealing with seemingly insurmountable issues in their lives, issues I cannot even understand.  Issues like addiction, terminal illnesses, etc., etc.  Some of these friends are depressed and find it hard to get out of the apparent black holes that they are in.  Others are able to maintain faith and an optimistic outlook no matter what - at least for the most part.  Other friends go from one place to the other, sometimes mastering faith and other times falling into hopelessness.

I say it's a matter of perspective since our experiences start and end with how we think about the external issues we face.  If we decide that we can absolutely conquer whatever we have in front of us, that will be a different experience than if we decide we are beaten. If you think it's over and why bother to go on anymore then it's over.

In my experience, I do much, much better overall when I decide I'm invincible and that all that is ahead of me I am able to conquer.  I muster the strength, the faith and the optimism - sometimes from nowhere -  to believe that I can do it.  And, I focus on all the things I listed as a strategy for living in my second post in this blog, Uncertainty and Fear on January 24th.  I still do the meditation on Fear which has been of tremendous help in keeping me balanced.

In fact, I am now thinking what is that next adventure that I must pursue.  And that goes beyond any job I could get - as I am in a job hunting mode - but rather, what is that seemingly unattainable goal I want to achieve? What are those goals?  What in my innermost being do I want to do next?  In the context of nothing is impossible, I have to define those goals clearly.  Now.

When I say I do much better when I decide that I am able to conquer anything it means that I feel really good about the process ahead of me but also I know I am increasing my odds of succeeding.  As in the example I recently gave in my post Winning on March 29th,  I go in to win the race, I don't go in to lose.  So I know that dwelling on my shortcomings when I interview for a job will not get me the job.  Focusing on my many strengths will definitely get me the job.  We all have shortcomings so no need to focus on those.

Which brings me to the core message of this post.  Since how we think about ourselves, our lives, our issues, is what determines our reality, it's clear to me that our struggles are within ourselves and with ourselves.  That is what we must conquer.  Conquering my thoughts and where my mind goes is the discipline that has helped me all along.  I consciously watch my thinking and if it's going in the wrong direction I switch lanes and go where I know I will win the battle inside of me. I strongly believe that this discipline brings the peace and happiness that most of us seek.

In light of how I am thinking of "struggles" I have decided to change the word to "challenges", somehow if I look at them that way it makes them more appealing.  I am always looking for the next challenge, the next mountain to climb, the next adventure to live...

Thank You

I am very grateful for many things in my life.  Here are a few of those:

1)  From the moment I wake up every morning, it's as if I was in heaven.  I wake up in a very cozy bed, in a very quiet neighborhood in New York.  It reminds me of a time when as a child one of my favorite pastimes was to lie on the grass.  I would look at the clouds and tried to imagine what it would be like to lie on one of them.  I still do that when I have a chance because the pleasure is the same.  My bed is like a cloud.  There are no  garbage trucks making noise or police cars or firetrucks in my neighborhood...just peace and quiet. Nothing disrupts or breaks the morning's glory.

2)  I am healthy.

3)  I start the morning reviewing and then executing my list of priorities, usually focused on the job hunt.

4)  All the beautiful souls in my life whether they are in body or in spirit.  All of them loving me and supporting me in their own way. Hopefully I do the same for them.

5)  I can walk anywhere I want to go.   My mother was in a wheelchair during the last few months of her life and it was extremely difficult for her.  So I have special empathy for people that are in wheelchairs and every step I recognize as a gift to me.

6)  My spiritual teachers, who support me no matter how much of an ingrate I am (I am not the best at keeping in touch).  They have given me too many gifts to list here.  They have taught me tools to manage the many challenges in life.  I meditate every single morning and it makes a tremendous difference. One of the benefits is that I have become a much more conscious human being.  That is invaluable.

7)  Knowing that anything is possible.

8)  Being imperfect and humble enough to know some of the areas where I need to improve so that I always have something to work on and grow no matter how difficult it may seem.

9)  Feeling empathy and a desire to help people that are suffering.

10)  Being able to eat delicious, scrumptious, food.

11)  That I can breathe, learn, be inspired, have confidence in myself and in the future and be able to grow... and keep on growing.  And to be able to feel love.

I could keep going on and on but this is my basic list.  I don't know what the future holds.  I will be fine.  I feel protected.

My life is not without challenges but I know I can overcome anything.  We all can.

If you haven't made your list, it's a good way to remind yourself that there is a lot to be grateful for no matter what is going on in your life.