What can I do for you...

I read an email from Yehuda Berg last week  - he sends messages every day to whoever subscribes.  I like most of his messages as they usually contain great wisdom.

Here it is - verbatim:


What Can I Do For You?
Saturday March 3, 2012

Service is one of the greatest tools we have to become fulfilled. It is the polar opposite of entitlement, which is about what you can do for me. Service is about what I can do for you. Service isn't only about big heroic actions, because many of us would sacrifice our lives to help someone in an emergency, but would we sacrifice our ego on a daily basis?

The litmus test is, does this action of sharing require internal change? If the goal of service is growth, then we reach it by looking for those areas where it’s hardest to go outside ourselves. This is something we can do all day long.

END OF MESSAGE (If you want to get these messages, write to support@kabbalah.com)


It made me reflect on the past 6 months.  For the most part I believe - hopefully I am correct in my self-assessment! - I tend to go outside of my comfort zone to help someone else whenever possible. Even if it includes making some level of sacrifice.  I may not do it for everyone I encounter but I consciously make decisions to be helpful to most people.  Of course that is even more true when my friends or family are involved.  I could also go overboard and I have to watch myself because it's also not healthy to give, give, give and not receive anything in return.  To be clear, I am not suggesting it is tit for tat, you give something and you must get something in return and viceversa.  There is no accounting system for generosity or any other exchange at a spiritual level.

What my experience has shown me is that the phrase "you know who your friends are" when you need help is very true.  The most unexpected friends - who I did not even consider to be my closest friends - went out of their way to help me.  The great majority of my closest friends definitely stepped up to the plate - as they say in baseball, a game I know nothing about but that has created great phrases! - and became absolutely reliable and gave me unconditional support and love.  And they accompanied their words of unconditional love with specific actions to help me.

By contrast, a family member disappointed me deeply.  It only points out to who he is but as that hurt me instead of help me, it is not an easy wound to heal.  The love is still there - intact - but so is the bruise.  A friend told me last week that it is easier for some people to value generosity when it's directed at them but have trouble being generous themselves.  I understand we are all different.  When it comes to people that need my help I focus on coming through for them as much as I can.  I am sure despite my good intentions I have failed them sometimes myself.  I try.  If it means giving up things I value for a period of time, I do it gladly.  I learned a long time ago that the world doesn't revolve around my existence.

As Yehuda Berg points out, it's easy to give of yourself if it doesn't cost you anything...it actually means something when you step out of your comfort zone and think of the other person first.  We have so many opportunities to think and care about ourselves, it certainly isn't necessary to do it 100% of the time, is it?

I say this and, at the same time, I realize that generosity may be expressed by some people in unexpected ways that are reasonable to them.  It ends up being a matter of definition.  Isn't everything?

Which reminds me of a favorite Beatles song, the love you give is equal to the love you make.  It's an easy puzzle to solve, isn't it?