Pollyanna and Sisyphus

I have been accused of having a Pollyannaish approach to life.  Being positive and optimistic most of the time and making an effort of seeing the best no matter what the circumstances is what helped me land that perception.  In theory, the Pollyanna principle is about being positive at an unconscious level yet negative at an unconscious one.  In practice, being positive requires harmony between the unconscious and conscious mind.

No one is optimistic 100% of the time...everyone has ups and downs.  Including me.  But I know that I function much better when I believe anything is possible and forge ahead.   If I didn't work on creating this energy for myself I would have given up a long time ago.  I sometimes feel like Sisyphus, pushing that big rock and watching it go down the mountain again and again.  But I go back to push it one more time in case this time it will get to the top of the mountain.  And it will!

It's in those moments of pause, when the rock is falling very quickly down the mountain while one is watching that one has a choice.  Do you give up and complain to all what your bad luck has brought, what others have done to you and how the rock is not collaborating as it should? Who else do you blame?  Or do you defy all odds,  stand up stronger, get back behind that rock and push, push, push...until you get it where it needs to be?

In Homer's myth, Sisyphus was punished by the Gods to push that huge stone for eternity.  As such, he played the role of the absurd hero again and again. In his essay on Sisyphus,  Camus states that he was happy in this quest and struggle to get the huge stone to the summit  (if you are interested in reading Camus' essay on Sisyphus, please go to the link at the end of this post.  I particularly like the last two paragraphs...).  We share no such fate of not reaching the summit.  It's up to each one of us to achieve what we want.  We can create our thoughts and direct them in a way that serve us.

It's not a great accomplishment, anyone can do that.  Creating good energy for oneself requires intense focus, commitment, and discipline.  Intense focus in always listening to our internal thoughts to understand what is it that we are projecting with our thoughts.  Discipline in being conscious on how the internal tape is playing out - is it the negative, fearful, tape or is it the encouraging, anything is possible, tape?  And commitment in switching from negative to positive thoughts as soon as we realize we are being self-destructive.

Some of us have grown up with great familiarity with the negative tape and it's hard to let it go.  Being a familiar narrative, there is a level of comfort in hearing it.  But it's important to know that one can edit it to one's advantage.

I spoke to my brother today.  He is moving tomorrow.  He told me tomorrow would be a horrible day for him because the movers are coming to pack his stuff, then taking it to his new house, etc. I said why can't it be a great day tomorrow, smooth and easy as opposed to how he's convinced himself it will be?  He laughed in a dismissive way - as if I was crazy! - and said something about you keep believing it's going to be great but I know it's going to be an extremely difficult day.

So I keep being mistaken for the fool in the family but it's okay as I'm anything but that.  If I can make anyone consider that thinking in a certain manner paves the way for more happiness then I'm a happy fool!


http://www.zafiris.net/articles/Sisyphus_Myth_Camus.htm

Twists and Turns

If life was as fun as a good twist is we wouldn't have anything to complain about although we would probably be exhausted all the time.

I'm all for being exhausted because I'm having too much fun.  What I have learned along the way is that a twist or a turn may be a good experience or may be a lesson in disguise - code phrase for a painful experience!  And the lesson is not always about something I have to learn but rather what others have to learn.  Yes, at my expense!!!

The tough aspect about the twists that lead to pain are the bruises that they leave behind.  They are hard to heal.  Time and having fun after a big bruise helps.  There are no real easy ways to heal.  Just to get through the pain takes a lot of energy.  Trying to figure things out is almost not worth it because what happened will be revealed in its own time.

That's the way it seems to work.  In the meantime, I'm dancing all I possibly can!

Check out this link if you feel like dancing with me:    
http://www.youtube.com/embed/XpzggAVxLME?rel=0"

Loose Ends and Symmetry

I realized today I have quite a few loose ends in my life.  This includes every relationship where not everything that needed to be said was said.  It also includes situations or circumstances where symmetry was absent and there were discordant notes that were never brought to a harmonious place.  In the end they are like jarred edges, always present and visible to all that care to see them.

I thought of that today in the context of a recent business relationship.  Two people coming from very different backgrounds sometimes can come together in unison as it has happened to me many times but sometimes it doesn't happen.  I worked together very well with people from a variety of backgrounds when the ideas and the vision were much more powerful than the differences.  It wasn't about us anymore, it was about getting it done for a goal that existed way beyond ourselves.  When the idea isn't as strong then what sometimes takes over is the lack of understanding and all communications become tainted with unexpressed expectations.

It also happens when close relationships are not working.  All relationships have an ebb and flow that is constantly shifting.  Sometimes they get close to shore and sometimes they move deep into the darkness of the ocean.  Somehow I usually know what is wrong and what is not working but because relationships include at least two people, it is not only dependent on one person understanding that.  Sometimes they get back in sync somehow and other times they remain in a holding pattern.  Less present and critical to one's life but always there.

Ah, the mysteries of life.  I vote for focusing on tying up as many loose ends as possible.  Hard to do but easier for the soul.  And certainly brings more symmetry to life.    

What can I do for you...

I read an email from Yehuda Berg last week  - he sends messages every day to whoever subscribes.  I like most of his messages as they usually contain great wisdom.

Here it is - verbatim:


What Can I Do For You?
Saturday March 3, 2012

Service is one of the greatest tools we have to become fulfilled. It is the polar opposite of entitlement, which is about what you can do for me. Service is about what I can do for you. Service isn't only about big heroic actions, because many of us would sacrifice our lives to help someone in an emergency, but would we sacrifice our ego on a daily basis?

The litmus test is, does this action of sharing require internal change? If the goal of service is growth, then we reach it by looking for those areas where it’s hardest to go outside ourselves. This is something we can do all day long.

END OF MESSAGE (If you want to get these messages, write to support@kabbalah.com)


It made me reflect on the past 6 months.  For the most part I believe - hopefully I am correct in my self-assessment! - I tend to go outside of my comfort zone to help someone else whenever possible. Even if it includes making some level of sacrifice.  I may not do it for everyone I encounter but I consciously make decisions to be helpful to most people.  Of course that is even more true when my friends or family are involved.  I could also go overboard and I have to watch myself because it's also not healthy to give, give, give and not receive anything in return.  To be clear, I am not suggesting it is tit for tat, you give something and you must get something in return and viceversa.  There is no accounting system for generosity or any other exchange at a spiritual level.

What my experience has shown me is that the phrase "you know who your friends are" when you need help is very true.  The most unexpected friends - who I did not even consider to be my closest friends - went out of their way to help me.  The great majority of my closest friends definitely stepped up to the plate - as they say in baseball, a game I know nothing about but that has created great phrases! - and became absolutely reliable and gave me unconditional support and love.  And they accompanied their words of unconditional love with specific actions to help me.

By contrast, a family member disappointed me deeply.  It only points out to who he is but as that hurt me instead of help me, it is not an easy wound to heal.  The love is still there - intact - but so is the bruise.  A friend told me last week that it is easier for some people to value generosity when it's directed at them but have trouble being generous themselves.  I understand we are all different.  When it comes to people that need my help I focus on coming through for them as much as I can.  I am sure despite my good intentions I have failed them sometimes myself.  I try.  If it means giving up things I value for a period of time, I do it gladly.  I learned a long time ago that the world doesn't revolve around my existence.

As Yehuda Berg points out, it's easy to give of yourself if it doesn't cost you anything...it actually means something when you step out of your comfort zone and think of the other person first.  We have so many opportunities to think and care about ourselves, it certainly isn't necessary to do it 100% of the time, is it?

I say this and, at the same time, I realize that generosity may be expressed by some people in unexpected ways that are reasonable to them.  It ends up being a matter of definition.  Isn't everything?

Which reminds me of a favorite Beatles song, the love you give is equal to the love you make.  It's an easy puzzle to solve, isn't it?