Healing

Sand Mandala

Life presents a few twists and turns to us that we need to assimilate, process and heal from - sometimes healing takes a long time.

The more unexpected things happen to me the more I understand the need to take the time to heal.  It's not easy.  Sometimes it seems easier to sweep it under the proverbial rug but one day I know I'll wake up and see a mountain of dirt under the rug.  It's much more difficult to get rid of that than to confront all experiences even those that are tough.

I have focused on working on myself every time I have had a tough experience.  Some of those experiences are not as bad as others.  First, I assimilate the experience and that in itself takes time.  Just to be able to accept the new reality has its own process.  Then I try to figure it out, sometimes realizing that it's not an intellectual challenge, it's an emotional one.  Yet my mind tries to figure it out anyway.  Then I do yoga, I do meditations, I talk to my friends and family...I deal with it until I get tired of the subject and don't want to talk about it anymore.  Then I know that I've dealt with it sufficiently.  Sometimes I have leftover dreams - or more like nightmares because in some way I have to relive what happened - and I know it's my subconscious still working things out.

I also realize that everyone has different levels of bad experiences.  My bad experiences pale in comparison to horrendous experiences others have had.  But I am only able to measure the depth of my experiences based on what I have experienced in the past.  That is my measuring stick.

I'm healed.  I still have enough faith and innocence to not be cynical and to always expect the best in others and of life.  That's the gift that taking the time to heal yields.  Priceless.